Updated: Oct 19, 2021
When I say “self-control” what is the first thing you imagine?
Is it something a bit like a prison warden, living inside of your mind?
That voice telling you what you “must” do, restricting you in some way and stopping you from having lots of things that you really like?
Or maybe it´s a bossy person in your brain shouting at you to do more, beating you up with a big shame and self-punishment stick for not doing enough, or maybe continually berating you with that wagging finger of blame and regret, each time you end up doing something you really you wish you hadn´t. 🙄
Is this how you imagine your version of self-control to be?
If you answered yes, then don´t worry you are definitely not alone, so do keep paying attention because I have some surprisingly good news for you :)
What if I told you that you can remove this prison warden from your mind and quite possibly change the way that you understand, think, and feel about your self-control forever?
Would you want to know more?
Keep reading because I´m ready to share some secrets with you right here, right now...
One of the biggest obstacles to recovery that I regularly see is an obsession we may naturally develop with “having” our issues or with continually trying to stop or rid ourselves of certain unwanted behaviors. Because these behaviors are so unwanted and have become such a troubling issue, they may often begin to occupy a lot of our thoughts, time, and internal energy.
The ensuing struggle motivates sufferers to start trawling the internet daily, looking for self-help articles, videos, and posts specifically about our issue. Self-diagnosing and labeling ourselves as having this condition or that condition (based upon what we may have read on google somewhere) or very often fixated on searching for solutions and tips that we believe might cure our issues overnight.
If this is something you also do, then do be kind to yourself because it´s a normal pattern of behavior to overfocus in this way and it comes from the pain of struggling with issues we dislike about ourselves. It´s as if on some level we can fall into a trap of believing that in order to get over something, we need to continually focus on that very thing and the search for how we might be able to get rid of it in our life.
Yet no matter how many “aha” moments we encounter on google and youtube, the reality, is that continually focusing on our problem behaviors is the very thing that actually makes it feel impossibly hard to get rid of them.
This is because the truth is that our brain cannot ever truly let go of something that we have framed and put up on display on the wall of our mind.
I will repeat that again (in other words), just to be clear…
Our brain will not be able to naturally let go of something that we are actively choosing to focus on heavily, each waking day.
So, if you are continually focused on being an “anxiety sufferer”, a “depressed person” or trying to stop certain habits like overeating, drinking excessively, gambling, shopaholic-ing, smoking, or taking narcotics (to name a few) then it will always feel very challenging to easily let go of your issues.
If we want to change then we need to start focusing on other things that are NOT our actual issues themselves, but are the less obvious things that underpin our issues in the first place.
When you want to remove a weed from your garden, we don´t prune it, we deprive the plant of water or sun or dig it up straight at the root instead.
Do you know what I mean?
If you are sat there wondering how this works with your issues, then keep paying attention, because the irony is that one of the main reasons that we might find self-control to be such a struggle for us in the first place, is down to these awful prison warden perceptions of it inside of our mind.
When you begin to focus on being more proactive to build up your own natural levels of self-control then you can start to fall in love with different behaviors that can easily free you of your issues.
You can become best friends with your own thinking habits so that they help you to feel naturally happier and find yourself magnetically drawn towards making better life choices that support your long-term goals. Without a prison warden in sight!
If you want to learn more about the 7 secrets to mastering your own super-powers of self-control, then click here now to watch my short, interactive video right here, and it will give you the new directions to focus, and show you how you can also start to more easily make the right kind of changes in your life.